Nancy Omeara - Useless Hate

Useless Hate

There are so, so, so many things to hate in this world if you have a mind to:

Bad latte.
(How can someone mess up an espresso and milk?)

Restaurants that don’t stock the exact sweetener you like in your tea.
(And yet, you wonder that I carry my own little sweeteners in my purse?)

“Your” size is different from one brand of clothing to the next – can’t these companies get standardized?
(Actually, I do kind of hate that, though I’ve never written a letter of complaint.)

People who get paid to predict the weather in areas where it changes every few hours  (London?  They might as well say, “Your guess is as good as mine.  Take an umbrella.”) or the climate is so predictable you could do the forecast yourself.  (Santa Barbara?  How does a meteorologist justify a salary?)

Fun things to hate – even if kind of impotent.

(You’re invited to add to the list.)

101 with Nancy Omeara

101 With Nancy Omeara

Question: Why did I write a book about “hate”?  Especially “how it spreads”?

I volunteered on a religious tolerance hot line for more than 5 years.

Many of the things I heard spoken of as true in the more than 5,000 calls I answered, seemed in my opinion, to be obviously false.

After talking to so many people, I started to think I might have some information and ideas that could be useful to others.

So  I started a book, and once I got the “mean, green and ugly” idea I decided to continue, because I liked that beginning and wanted to see where it could go.

Years later, one false start (you don’t want to know) I finally got the text professionally edited, nicely typeset and hopefully made into a more direct, concise book that is both interesting and I hope sometimes enlightening.

Question: You seem to think that “hate” doesn’t just happen, that it is caused?

Yes, I do.  I’m not talking about hate that makes sense or is just a feeling, ‘I hate purple.”  That’s a feeling.  Or even, “I hate to see people being taken advantage of.”  That’s rational.

“Created hate” is the kind where facts are manipulated, some items omitted, others given more weight than how they actually tip the scales.

That’s the kind of “caused” hate that makes me see red.

Question: Is hate necessarily bad?

No. Never mistake destructive hate with transformative/invigorating hate.

There are so many worthwhile things to hate – (besides the obvious –  prejudice, incompetence, illiteracy …) and so many examples where hatred of things that are just simply wrong has been used to change things for the better.

Obviously, I’m sort of on the alert for such, but still, examples are not hard to find.

A few of the good things to hate that people work hard to change:

Apartheid, slavery, unequal pay for the same work, unequal job opportunities, so much more.

In fact, it is my opinion, that it is just possible there are still some things in this world that it is a good idea to hate, and to take action to change:

Gender and racial discrimination, religious discrimination, unequal educational opportunities, unsafe public health situations, dangerous vehicles-roads-buildings …

There’s plenty to hate out there – for constructive reasons.


Now I have a question. What do you, who are reading this, thinks? I’m interested in hearing from you.

Nancy Omeara - Rising Above Hate

Rising Above Hate

A Case to Share

On October 2, 2006, a shooting occurred at the West Nickel Mines School, an Amish one-room schoolhouse in the Old Order Amish community of Nickel Mines, a village in Bart Township of Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.[1][2][3]

Gunman Charles Carl Roberts IV took hostages and shot ten girls (aged 6–13), killing five, before committing suicide in the schoolhouse.[1][2][3][4]

How the Amish Responded

On the day of the shooting, a grandfather of one of the murdered Amish girls was heard warning some young relatives not to hate the killer, saying, “We must not think evil of this man.”[15] Another Amish father noted, “He had a mother and a wife and a soul and now he’s standing before a just God.”[16]

Jack Meyer, a member of the Brethren community living near the Amish in Lancaster County, explained: “I don’t think there’s anybody here that wants to do anything but forgive and not only reach out to those who have suffered a loss in that way but to reach out to the family of the man who committed these acts.”[15]

A Roberts family spokesman said an Amish neighbor comforted the Roberts family hours after the shooting and extended forgiveness to them.[17] Amish community members visited and comforted Roberts’ widow, parents, and parents-in-law. One Amish man held Roberts’ sobbing father in his arms, reportedly for as long as an hour, to comfort him.

Amish community members visited and comforted Roberts’ widow, parents, and parents-in-law. One Amish man held Roberts’ sobbing father in his arms, reportedly for as long as an hour, to comfort him.[18] The Amish also set up a charitable fund for the family of the shooter.

The Amish also set up a charitable fund for the family of the shooter.[19] About 30 members of the Amish community attended Roberts’ funeral,

About 30 members of the Amish community attended Roberts’ funeral,[18] and Marie Roberts, the widow of the killer, was one of the few outsiders invited to the funeral of one of the victims.[20]

Excerpted from Wikipedia Article “Amish School Shooting”. Read the full article here

Nancy Omeara - Lazy Hate

Lazy Hate

Does anyone wake up bright and early and say to themselves, “I know, today I’m going to find someone new to hate. That will be a fun day.  Hmm, let’s see. Who will it be?

“I’ve got it. Today I’ll go after drivers. But that’s such a big category – lots of possibilities. Have to narrow that down. Should I hate everyone who cuts me off in traffic?  Too many.

“What about someone who dives across my lane veering 90 degrees to make a turn? Strong potential.  But they might have a good excuse with the bad signage around here.  Maybe the person who pulls up two yards behind me, flashes their brights so I’ll move over when it’s obvious there’s a car on my right and a 4×4 in front of me and nowhere for me to go.  Good candidate – unless he’s driving his very pregnant and now- n-labor wife to a hospital.  Of course, there’s always that odd duck trudging 50 mph on a 70 speed limit freeway.  Who doled out that guy’s license?

“In fact, all these bad drivers got licensed by someone. Aha! Now I’ve got it.  The incompetent nincompoop who grants the licenses – that would be the right person to hate.

“But how could I ever find them?  Every single lousy driver I encounter was probably licensed by a different person.  Finding each of them sounds too much like work.

“Guess I’ll just stick to hating all those rotten drivers.  Ahhh, that feels so good.”

Nobody really thinks like that, do they?